Protect Your Heart

There is no shortage of heartache on the Internet when it comes to abandoned and neglected pets. One sees so many photos and stories of horror, neglect and abuse that it makes most of us sick inside. So this post is about how a foster parent can keep their focus on where it needs to be, without constantly being barraged by the negativity seemingly found everywhere in rescue-land. 

Here's one of those shelter photos that can break your heart - good news, this girl was fostered, treated for heartworm infection, and then adopted by a great family!

I want to empower you to make choices on where you focus your attention. This is not a case of burying your head in the sand. To me this is a case of budgeting energy. I have x amount of energy to devote to rescue and I want to maximize the good I can do with that energy. Spending time letting my emotions be manipulated by sad photos  of dogs I have no way of helping uses up energy without providing any help to dogs. And if you keep using up more energy than you have, eventually you will stop rescuing. 

All the photos of dogs you see in this post are dogs that I personally know have lived amazing lives thanks to foster parents and volunteers who put their energy where it counts. This is Mingus, who started out life as a forgotten dog in a pet store and now spends his time supervising his mom at their coffee shop in Seattle.

See - it's a budget issue - do not spend more than you have. How do you make these choices though? That's the tough one. But over the years I learned to ask myself a question each time I was looking at something that made me feel overwhelmed and helpless. I asked "is there something I can do to change this?" If the answer is no then I save that energy and use it where it can make a difference. 

Some people have whined to me about how it is so overwhelming because there is so much of this rescue heartache in their Facebook feed. Here's the thing - it is in your feed because YOU put it there. You choose who you follow on Facebook. You have the option of unfriending, unfollowing or seeing less of the posts from certain people or organizations. So do not bemoan how overwhelming their posts are. Just choose not to have them in your feed.

Darby was born blind and was terrified when she ended up in a shelter. Thanks to volunteers, she now lives a happy life in NW Washington state.

It may seem harsh or some people would claim it is putting one's head in the sand. But who do you want to be - the person who knows about all the bad there is out there and is overwhelmed and depressed and does nothing, or the person who focuses their energy on where they can make a difference? I choose to be the latter. And because I've made that choice for myself, I continue to be able to make a positive change in the world. 

Lucia had never spent time outside her home and was put on Craigslist when her family had a baby that scared her. After lots of work in foster care, she now leads  a very happy life in the country with her retired mom.

In the group that I volunteer for, I mentor the foster parents in the Pacific Northwest. One of the first suggestions I make to new foster parents is to not look at the "Urgent List" of dogs that our group sends out each week. I know that is going to irritate the powers that be, but I also know that I have had foster parent after foster parent thank me for that advice and tell me how overwhelming they found the list to be. 

The reality is that here in the Seattle area we are not going to be able to help that homeless dog in Alabama or Florida and so looking through the photos of a list of dogs who are on "last call" is not going to do any good for those dogs but will eat away at your spirit. If a foster parent doesn't currently have an open spot for a foster dog there is no reason to use up your energy looking at those poor pathetic faces. 

Instead, use that energy on the foster dog you are currently trying to help. Take better photos of them for their online adoption listings, dedicate yourself to working on an issue that they have like impulse control or resource guarding, take part in an adoption event... That is where your energy is going to do good - not staring at the photos of dogs you can't help.

Huckleberry was tormented by the young kids of his family before being surrendered to rescue. With time and training he is  now doing great and is the center of his new mom and dad's world.

If you do have an opening for a foster dog, check with your state or regional coordinator. They may know of a dog you can help and you will never need to look at the list. It is their job to stay aware of the urgent dogs in your area so let them deal with the sad stories and take care of yourself. 

Rescue work has a very high burn out rate so if you really care about dogs, then take care of yourself because you won't help anyone if you are a burnt out mess. Manage your time. Manage your energy. Know your limits. Work on learning how to say no. Those are skills that will help you save the most dogs because volunteers stay around longer if they are focused on what they can do rather than the hopelessness of what they can't. 

Gramercy spent a long time in a no kill shelter after being pulled from a shelter. Because of an injury as a young pup, he had spinal pain and some deformities in his legs. In foster care he got the surgery he needed and now lives with his doting moms in NW Washington. 

The reality is there is just as much out there that can make you hopeful and energized as there is that can steal that hope. Make the choice of where you want your focus to be.