Fear, Part 3: Are you listening?

It seems to me that the people who profess to love dogs the most are the ones who are least likely to listen to what the dog is trying to tell them. They are so busy snuggling, petting, and attempting to show the dog how much they love it that they aren't paying attention to what the dog's body language is telling them. And often those dogs are saying they need the humans to give them some space.

Put yourself in the dog's place. You are really stressed out because you've been away from everything and everyone you know for awhile now. A total stranger comes up to you, gives you a giant hug and a sloppy kiss. Now imagine a small breed dog who gets swooped into the air by this person they don't know and held there, confined and trapped by a total stranger. It would be unnerving.

Just because you are pouring your heart out to a dog and you want to show the dog how much you love them does not mean that is what the dog wants. If you truly love dogs, then you will respect them and respecting them means paying attention to their body language and "listening" to it when they say they need the humans to back off a bit. That is the most loving thing you can do for a dog - respect their space and give them the choice to come to you when they feel comfortable.

This isn't just something that foster parents need to do, it's something that everyone should do - transporters, shelter volunteers and staff, vets...  And here's the magic part - often, as soon as the dog realizes that you are responding to their body language and truly listening they will start to trust you and will warm up to you much quicker than if you just forced that love and attention on them.

So what should you be watching for? What does a dog do that let's you know they aren't comfortable?

First let's start with the stuff that often gets missed:

Looking away,yawning, lip licking, and inattention - When a dog is in a new situation with new people or dogs, they will often look away from the person or dog to let them know they are not challenging or confronting them. They may lick their lips or yawn. They may act like they have no interest in the person trying so hard to love them. These gestures are signs that the dog wants to calm a situation down and that they are not feeling very comfortable. They aren't signs they are tired or hungry or bored but are signs the dog may need some space. Watch carefully! These are some pretty subtle things but are often the first clues that you as the human need to take things down a notch.

Look away: This littly guy has quite the studied indifference to the camera. He's not bored though, he's just very nervous and worried.

Yawning: Huckleberry is pretty concerned about all the photos I am snapping and when he gave me this yawn, I knew it was time to put the camera away.

The classic lip lick: Rigby was a bit uncomfortable wearing a coat and after sitting for me patiently, he started to show signs he was ready to be done with both coat and photo shoot. 

Disinterest: Rigby is a little overwhelmed by this stranger leaning over him so he opted to sniff around rather than interact directly with her.

Leaning back or away - If the dog is standing, often their body will lean away from the person/dog that they are a bit overwhelmed by. If the dog is being held, you will feel them trying to pull away and create some distance from you.

Lean away: This little shelter guy is pushing away from the shelter volunteer, trying to create distance (and hopefully escape, probably) from being held.

Lean away: Frodo hates water and here he is at the beach, nervous but curious, with his weight shifted back so he can easily get away if necessary.

Lean away: Huckleberry is showing all kinds of signs to Saul that he wants some space  - leaning away, ears pinned, tight face and his tail is probably tucked as well.

Ears - This is a big one and a much easier thing to notice. Dogs' ears are often a window to their emotional state. Pricked, forward oriented ears and a still head are a sign of a very alert dog and an alert dog is not a relaxed dog. The clearest indication for me that a dog is uncomfortable is they will pin their ears back to their head. It doesn't matter whether the dog has droopy, upright, or even artificially altered ears - all dogs will do this when they are stressed out. It is true that some dogs will pin their ears when they are happy and excited but the difference is that those dogs will have a soft relaxed face whereas a stressed dog's face will be tight and tense.

Ear pin: Poor Inigo is very concerned about these open riser stairs.

Ear pin: Coco is on the last part of a long transport and her ears tell me she was feeling rather stressed by the whole thing.

Tail - A wagging tail can mean a lot of different things so is often misread as happy. But I've never really seen a dog keep a tightly tucked tail when they were relaxed and happy. If the dog's tail or nub is pulled tightly down it's a good sign they need some space and need you to let them make the choice to approach rather than have that approach forced on them.

Tail tuck: Moon's ears tell us she is alert, but her tail tells us it's not a "happy alert."

Panting and tight face - This is one that is regularly mistaken for a look of happiness because with their tight face and mouth open it looks a bit like they have a smile on their face. But panting (in absence of hot weather, or as the result of recent exercise) is a good sign that a dog is feeling stressed.

Panting: Newly out of the shelter, Stu is still a bit stressed out as you can see by his panting and his tight, drawn back lips

Shake off - dogs will shake off to get water out of their coat or right after waking from a nap. But often right after they experience something they find stressful they will do a shake off so it is a behavior you should pay attention to.

There are many other signs that dogs give and if you are interested in learning more I suggest checking out 4Paws University's post on stress signals, which includes some great photos and book references as well.

While I see respect as the most important reason to pay attention to what our dogs are saying to us, there is another reason as well - avoiding bites. It is rare that a dog will immediately jump to a bite as it's first choice of avoiding a person/situation. Often they give all kinds of signals that are ignored before they get to the place where they feel that they have no other option but to use their teeth. And if you've pushed a dog to the place where they feel the need to bite, you quite possibly are putting them at risk of being euthanized if they bite the wrong person. Practice makes perfect and the more often a dog's body language is ignored, the more likely they are going to drop that body language and just bite because they've learned that humans don't listen.

There is a well known book by Turid Rugaas called "On Talking Terms 
With Dogs: Calming Signals" and in it she says to "find the reasons for your dog to be stressed. By looking critically at yourself and your surroundings, you can often find out a lot all by yourself."

So next time you lean down and reach for a dog, just for a minute turn off what you want to give to the dog (love and affection) and turn on your attention to what the dog is saying they need from you.