Fear, Part 4: Choice Is Magic

One of the lessons that has taken me longest to learn in working with fearful dogs is that pushing forward moves things backwards. Seems like a nonsensical statement but when it comes to any animal experiencing generalized fear within an environment, the very best thing to do is to wait and let the animal choose to come to you.

Newly rescued Chima is pretty worried about Troy here but she is learning that he won't reach out to grab at her so she's willing to come closer and check him out. 

This can be maddening when you have a brand new foster dog who is nervously trembling across the room from you and you want to let them know that you will take care of them, but I promise you waiting things out and letting the dog choose to come to you will exponentially speed up how quickly they trust you.

I'm not saying you can't do things to help them along. Set up the environment and positive "consequences" so that choosing to check you out or explore the room pays off. They are scared and terrified and sometimes even leaning forward to sniff the floor in front of them is going to be a brave triumph. Moving forward might be reinforced by the fact that you've previously placed some super delicious bits of meat around their bed and it becomes a reinforcing behavior to move around and explore. As they get braver, you could reinforce them looking towards you by gently tossing a piece of treat across the room and then looking away. As one of my heroes in the behavior analysis field, Dr. Susan Friedman says "control the environment not the animal." That means you need to be putting your energy into setting up your dog's environment so they have the best chance of succeeding.

Dr. Friedman also talks about choice being a primary reinforcer. Primary reinforcers do not need to be learned - they are just part of what makes animals tick and we react to those reinforcers without needing to understand that "wow, that is a good thing."  Food, water, shelter are all things that we know to seek out and are primary reinforcers. But did you know the ability to act and make choices and have a sense of control over one's life is also one of those things that is naturally reinforcing to us mammals? So empower that timid foster dog. Grabbing them and giving them a hug will teach them that you are someone to be worried about and avoided. Sitting back and watching from afar as they come to a decision to approach you, or even just look over at you, teaches them that you are safe and are going to respect their desire for some space.

Again, I am not saying to do nothing. But what you will be doing is being calm, quiet, and watching carefully for ways you can set up great positive outcomes that make the behavior you want to see (in this case moving around and being willing to approach people) worth performing.

If you hold back your excitement and let the animal make the choice to get to know you, instead of forcing that on the animal by picking them up for a cuddle, I promise you, you will earn a different kind of trust. They will understand that you will let them take things at a pace that feels safe to them and that kind of respect for an animal will only strengthen the trust needed for a strong relationship to grow.

Fear, Part 3: Are you listening?

It seems to me that the people who profess to love dogs the most are the ones who are least likely to listen to what the dog is trying to tell them. They are so busy snuggling, petting, and attempting to show the dog how much they love it that they aren't paying attention to what the dog's body language is telling them. And often those dogs are saying they need the humans to give them some space.

Put yourself in the dog's place. You are really stressed out because you've been away from everything and everyone you know for awhile now. A total stranger comes up to you, gives you a giant hug and a sloppy kiss. Now imagine a small breed dog who gets swooped into the air by this person they don't know and held there, confined and trapped by a total stranger. It would be unnerving.

Just because you are pouring your heart out to a dog and you want to show the dog how much you love them does not mean that is what the dog wants. If you truly love dogs, then you will respect them and respecting them means paying attention to their body language and "listening" to it when they say they need the humans to back off a bit. That is the most loving thing you can do for a dog - respect their space and give them the choice to come to you when they feel comfortable.

This isn't just something that foster parents need to do, it's something that everyone should do - transporters, shelter volunteers and staff, vets...  And here's the magic part - often, as soon as the dog realizes that you are responding to their body language and truly listening they will start to trust you and will warm up to you much quicker than if you just forced that love and attention on them.

So what should you be watching for? What does a dog do that let's you know they aren't comfortable?

First let's start with the stuff that often gets missed:

Looking away,yawning, lip licking, and inattention - When a dog is in a new situation with new people or dogs, they will often look away from the person or dog to let them know they are not challenging or confronting them. They may lick their lips or yawn. They may act like they have no interest in the person trying so hard to love them. These gestures are signs that the dog wants to calm a situation down and that they are not feeling very comfortable. They aren't signs they are tired or hungry or bored but are signs the dog may need some space. Watch carefully! These are some pretty subtle things but are often the first clues that you as the human need to take things down a notch.

Look away: This littly guy has quite the studied indifference to the camera. He's not bored though, he's just very nervous and worried.

Yawning: Huckleberry is pretty concerned about all the photos I am snapping and when he gave me this yawn, I knew it was time to put the camera away.

The classic lip lick: Rigby was a bit uncomfortable wearing a coat and after sitting for me patiently, he started to show signs he was ready to be done with both coat and photo shoot. 

Disinterest: Rigby is a little overwhelmed by this stranger leaning over him so he opted to sniff around rather than interact directly with her.

Leaning back or away - If the dog is standing, often their body will lean away from the person/dog that they are a bit overwhelmed by. If the dog is being held, you will feel them trying to pull away and create some distance from you.

Lean away: This little shelter guy is pushing away from the shelter volunteer, trying to create distance (and hopefully escape, probably) from being held.

Lean away: Frodo hates water and here he is at the beach, nervous but curious, with his weight shifted back so he can easily get away if necessary.

Lean away: Huckleberry is showing all kinds of signs to Saul that he wants some space  - leaning away, ears pinned, tight face and his tail is probably tucked as well.

Ears - This is a big one and a much easier thing to notice. Dogs' ears are often a window to their emotional state. Pricked, forward oriented ears and a still head are a sign of a very alert dog and an alert dog is not a relaxed dog. The clearest indication for me that a dog is uncomfortable is they will pin their ears back to their head. It doesn't matter whether the dog has droopy, upright, or even artificially altered ears - all dogs will do this when they are stressed out. It is true that some dogs will pin their ears when they are happy and excited but the difference is that those dogs will have a soft relaxed face whereas a stressed dog's face will be tight and tense.

Ear pin: Poor Inigo is very concerned about these open riser stairs.

Ear pin: Coco is on the last part of a long transport and her ears tell me she was feeling rather stressed by the whole thing.

Tail - A wagging tail can mean a lot of different things so is often misread as happy. But I've never really seen a dog keep a tightly tucked tail when they were relaxed and happy. If the dog's tail or nub is pulled tightly down it's a good sign they need some space and need you to let them make the choice to approach rather than have that approach forced on them.

Tail tuck: Moon's ears tell us she is alert, but her tail tells us it's not a "happy alert."

Panting and tight face - This is one that is regularly mistaken for a look of happiness because with their tight face and mouth open it looks a bit like they have a smile on their face. But panting (in absence of hot weather, or as the result of recent exercise) is a good sign that a dog is feeling stressed.

Panting: Newly out of the shelter, Stu is still a bit stressed out as you can see by his panting and his tight, drawn back lips

Shake off - dogs will shake off to get water out of their coat or right after waking from a nap. But often right after they experience something they find stressful they will do a shake off so it is a behavior you should pay attention to.

There are many other signs that dogs give and if you are interested in learning more I suggest checking out 4Paws University's post on stress signals, which includes some great photos and book references as well.

While I see respect as the most important reason to pay attention to what our dogs are saying to us, there is another reason as well - avoiding bites. It is rare that a dog will immediately jump to a bite as it's first choice of avoiding a person/situation. Often they give all kinds of signals that are ignored before they get to the place where they feel that they have no other option but to use their teeth. And if you've pushed a dog to the place where they feel the need to bite, you quite possibly are putting them at risk of being euthanized if they bite the wrong person. Practice makes perfect and the more often a dog's body language is ignored, the more likely they are going to drop that body language and just bite because they've learned that humans don't listen.

There is a well known book by Turid Rugaas called "On Talking Terms 
With Dogs: Calming Signals" and in it she says to "find the reasons for your dog to be stressed. By looking critically at yourself and your surroundings, you can often find out a lot all by yourself."

So next time you lean down and reach for a dog, just for a minute turn off what you want to give to the dog (love and affection) and turn on your attention to what the dog is saying they need from you.

Fear, Part 2: Let Go Of The Past

In the Fear Part 1 post I talked about how what most people label as abuse is more likely to be underexposure/lack of socialization. In this part I'd like to talk about a few of the different ways that using the label of "abused" does a disservice to rescue dogs and tends to hurt, not help them.

Thwarts Progress: 
I think the most detrimental thing that the label "abused" does is it sets up a picture of a dog who is irreparably damaged; a dog who needs to be accepted as they are and who will never be a relaxed and happy dog. It gives the human an out for doing the needed work and forever attaches the idea of "broken" to a dog who is so much more. I agree you need to accept the reality of the dog you have before you, that by no way means the dog can't grow, learn, and overcome some of the barriers that keep them locked in anxiety.

I think the dog that most paints this picture for me is my personal dog Chima. When she first came to us as a foster dog she would not let people near her and hated being touched. In the beginning I didn't set up any long term goal of creating an easy going dog but instead started with baby steps - first teaching her to allow short touches from a long handled artist's brush and then moving up slowly from there - always moving forward in teeny, tiny increments. In the back of my mind I figured she was never going to enjoy hanging out on the couch with me but I figured we'd just keep working and see where we ended up.

You can barely see Chima behind Troy in this picture with her tail down. She would approach from behind to sniff but wouldn't come close otherwise.

Getting braver and moving in for a shoe sniff. We had to keep her on a long line so that we could help her come inside without feeling like we were crowding or grabbing her. 

It took us about a year and a half, but I can tell you that she has far surpassed any expectations I had. She is a strong, independent terrier who is playful, loving, and sometimes laughingly naughty. And she now actively seeks out touch from me and loves to curl up next to me on the couch. She is happy and active, and willing to try new things - no longer confined by her fear. Had I taken the road where I just gave her love and attention and a place to sleep and eat she would maybe be a bit more relaxed but she certainly wouldn't be willing to go up to perfect strangers and let them pet her or roll on her back next to me on the couch for a belly rub. Her world is so much bigger and happier now! I didn't do anything magic. It was pretty basic training stuff. But I did allow her to move at her own pace and I made sure I didn't let myself fall into thinking she would never be more than the scared dog who arrived here. And I also didn't create a vision of the dog I wanted her to be. We just walked a path together, one baby step at a time and tried to never look further along than the next step.

Chima today: She always wants to be near me if I'm sitting down and if another dog is in my lap she finds a way to squeeze in

Chima during a Nose Work class, letting our instructor Karyn be her handler for the search

As I've said before - in the world of fostering, love is not enough. If you are going to take on a fearful dog as a foster then you owe it to the dog to try to help them start working on their fear issues. If you don't want to put that kind of work in - that's fine. I understand not everyone has the time or the patience for that kind of training. But if you don't want to put the work in, it means you need to choose foster dogs who are easy going and confident.

Attracts the wrong type of adopters:
Overly dramatizing a dog's past is also a good way to drive away the kind of thoughtful adopters that a dog really needs. I have found that the people who are drawn to the dramatic stories tend to be caught up in the moment. They rarely have thought through the reality of the time and training and environmental changes that a fearful dog needs from them. When reality hits they are frustrated and overwhelmed which will further stress out the dog. Or the dog gets returned and has their life turned upside down again. You don't want adopters who have been sucked in by a sob story. You want ones who have thought things through, talked it over with everyone in their family, and in the end decided they are willing to make the changes needed to bring a fearful dog into there lives and hopefully help that dog move past their fear.

Paints the wrong picture of what a "rescue dog" is:
One thing I've noticed too is that so many foster dogs get this label of being mistreated and damaged - even dogs with very minor fears - that saying a dog is a "rescue" has become almost synonymous with saying a dog is irreparably messed up. And that just isn't the case at all! The majority of the dogs that I foster have pretty minor things to work through and most of them are just teenage dogs who have never had someone take the time to teach them the basics of how to live in a house.

If we create this picture of rescue dogs always being "damaged" then we will drive away a lot of great adopters who maybe aren't up for a dog with extreme fear issues but are fine with a dog who needs a bit more work on house training, or is super energetic and just needs an active home, or maybe loves to chew so needs someone willing to supervise them. Do we really want to be driving these adopters away to breeders when there are so many great dogs needing homes?

This is a "rescue dog" - happy to be out of the shelter, loves car rides, people and snoozing on the back of a couch. Dobbes is available for adoption through New Rattitude once he completes heartworm treatment.

Why do we do it?
I think we need to question ourselves about why we feel it is important to attach this label to a dog. I personally think it has a lot more to do with how we want others to see us "the person who takes care of poor, abused dogs" than we think it is best for the dog. And please don't take this as me judging because I have done plenty of this labeling in the past. Would we forever want to be introduced as "this is Jane Doe, that lady who was beaten as a child"?  Would we introduce a friend that way? Making a dog forever be that "abused rescue dog" and tying them to a label does the same thing. It is seeing them for a past they had no control over rather than the dog they are today, full of potential and ready to grow.

Fear, Part 1: Your Dog Was Not Abused

It is fairly common to hear rescuers and adopters of rescue dogs go on and on about their dog's history of "abuse." In this post and the next I hope to point out two things: 1, it is highly unlikely that your dog's fearful behavior came from abuse, and 2. even if it did you are doing your dog a disservice by hanging onto that label.

The reason I say this is that the highly skittish behavior that many dogs who get labeled as abused will exhibit is very common behavior for dogs who were not exposed to much outside their own home during their very important puppy phase. It is much more likely that someone bought a puppy and never took it outside the home or back yard, than that they were beating the dog mercilessly. Few people put the time into exposing their puppies to all the different environments, people, sounds, textures, etc. that they should be exposed to during those critical weeks of puppyhood when they learn what things are okay in the world. While this can somewhat be done retroactively, it can take years to help a skittish dog move past their fears that could have been managed with  a couple good months of positive exposure as a puppy. So the most common reason for your foster dog's fear and anxiety, actually the most common reason for any behavior issues your foster dog may be having is human laziness/neglect, not abuse.

Former NR foster dog Tim, a dog who hadn't been anywhere further than his back yard, found wearing a cone terrifying and his foster mom took it off soon after this photo was taken. 

If your dog has a fear of a specific thing like people wearing hats, people of a different race than you, trash cans, even the smell of certain foods - it doesn't mean your dog was abused by those people/things. It is much more likely that either the dog just generally wasn't exposed to the world like I have already mentioned, or that something scary happened during puppyhood while the dog was exposed to those things. For example, my dog Frodo is terrified of the garbage cans. I did not beat him with a garbage can. Nor did I leave him in a garbage can as punishment. What happened was that when he was a young puppy I dragged the garbage can into the garage while Frodo was leashed  next to me. He freaked out and to this day he is uneasy around the garbage can and will walk in a wide arc to get around it.

Frodo always tends to be a little concerned about things, even in his own back yard

Another reason that your dog may be fearful is genetics. Some dogs, heck - some mammals - are just more prone to this than others and some breeds even have a higher tendency toward fearful and anxious behavior. Frodo is a skittish dog who I carefully socialized from puppyhood and took through clicker training classes, etc. I promise you he's never been beaten, even though I've felt like it at times. He just has a fairly anxious temperament and managing his anxiety is something we'll always be working on.

Former foster dog Moon, showing she is pretty anxious

So examine the story that you tell yourself and others about your dog. Have you created some dark, misty back story of what happened to them in the past due to a behavior you see in the present? It's just not necessary and it's not even really factual. Don't get sucked into a drama of your own creation,

In the next post I'll talk about how holding onto your dog's past - real or imagined - can actually get in the way of your foster dog making progress.